Theatre comes to the Gunnersbury Alhambra. Brentford v Wycombe was so much more than football

“Tennis is more than just a sport. It’s an art, like the ballet. Or like a performance in the theatre. When I step on the court I feel like Anna Pavlova.”

So said tennis superstar Bill  Tilden.

While few of the men on show on Saturday at the Brentford v Wycombe match will ever attain the career heights of the three time Wimbledon champion who also won seven US Opens, the idea that I was watching art as much as sport crossed my mind during the game.

83′ A lovely finish by Canos for the posture and graceful poise and balance if nothing else. (I used to review ballet in Seattle you know)#BrentfordFC 5 : 2 #Chairboys @Beesotted @billythebee99 @GasmanCOTN @ProstInt

— Steve Clare (@Steve__Clare) January 30, 2021

But even before the balletic grace of Sergu Canos, it was clear that this was the kind of game that had more than just goals and scorers, it had a plot. And several sub plots.

All games have a league table as the scenery. This one was no different.

Despite the lack of history between the clubs this was vaguely a local derby of sorts. But the drama really began when Wycombe midfielder Alex Pattison was injured in the warm up forcing the gloriously named Dennis Emmanuel Abiodun Bamidele Chijioke Adeniran to step in at the last moment.

That must have thrown manager Gareth Ainsworth’s preparations into confusion. He was still dealing with that when the league’s most inform defender, Brentford’s Ethan Pinnock, nipped in front of Darius Charles at a Mathias Jensen corner to put the promotion chasers a very early goal up.

Bottom of the table Wycombe were in disarray surely. The distant drumbeat that signifies the end of an Eastenders episode could be heard from London’s most western outpost.

Had Wycombe not conceded three goals in the last four minutes midweek to Spurs. Now nine minutes in and effervescent Brentford had added another.

Then came another plot twist.

From the Edward Hyde of Wycombe’s defensive disarray arose the Edward Jekyll of some of their best football of the season. Adeniran and Uche Ikpeazu combined like they had been playing together since childhood. Brentford’s right rearguard was flummoxed.

After three minutes of solid Wycombe pressure, a magnificent solo curled effort by Ikpeazu leveled the scores. He and Adeniran then ran the show for a scene or two and it looked like a massive shock was in store. The Bees seemed a little stunned by ferocity of the Wanderers response. It was already not a game where the predictable has happened.

We’d seen nothing.

Wycombe looked to be on the cusp of taking the lead but Brentford weathered the storm rather than withered under it and Josh Da silva hit the post after more stellar work by Canos. The Bees were regaining control of the game.

Five minutes before half time Ivan Toney restored their lead. Ryan Allsop got plenty of hand onto his powerful effort but the sheer momentum carried it over although a teammeet was poised to enure it corssed the line.

“Oh well,” you may have thought. “That was nice while it lasted but surely that will break the bottom placed side’s resistance.”

But playwrights can be a strange breed, especially Gilbert and Sullivan whose nautical operettas could have produced the name of the next hero.

Just a minute later, Admiral Muskwe leveled with a headed equaliser, beautifully served up on a plate to him and to boot on the Zimbabwean’s league debut for the Buckinghamshire side.

It was 2-2 and we had only just reached the interval, or half time as they call it in sport.

The author of this drama then teased us again.

He gave Brentford the lead for the third time. Tariqe Fosu drove neatly into the corner for the game’s best finish up till then.

Surely the script was written for the underdog to evoke the sympathy of even the faintest hearts?

52' Wycombe now seek a THIRD equaliser. Surely not?#BrentfordFC 3 : 2 #Chairboys @Beesotted @billythebee99 @IanCMBE @the_lisa_cat @GasmanCOTN @prostint

— Steve Clare (@Steve__Clare) January 30, 2021

But then the soap opera which had become a Bollywood movie composed of heroic conquests against the odds evolved into pantomime.

And what does pantomime have that no other form of drama has better? A cartoon villain!

Enter referee David Webb who gave one of the strangest penalties I can recall.

As Fred Onyedinma swiped to hoof the ball upfield, Canos prepared to make a challenge from behind which would intersperse itself between the swinging boot and the ball.

“He’s BEHIND you,” chanted the audience in the Gunnerbury Alhambra. But too late.

Onyedinma knew nothing until he felt his boot connect and saw the red and white opponent splattered on the stage in front of him. Mr Webb’s call even seemed to astonish the Prompter but the plot had been truly twisted.

This ended Wycombe’s third comeback. Toney coolly and I suspect somewhat sheepishly rolled the ball in slow motion to Allsop’s left. Not since Barbara Windsor turned up on Eastenders as Phil Mitchell’s mum has a character appeared from nowhere to so change the trajectory ad plot of the show.

From then on, the soap opera that had become a pantomime became ballet.

The River Thames is just 200 yards from this magnificent stadium, but this could have been Swan Lake as Brentford’s football took on an elegance and suaveness that had been absent from Act I.

Two elegant goals from the stylish Canos and a seventh from Toney gave the scoreline a lopsided result.

For the second successive game, Wycombe had conceded three in the last ten minutes, and Ivan Toney had an odd hat trick which included a goal he had to tweet about to claim off a teammate and a penalty that he seemed to think his side should not have been awarded.

Nine goals and so many storylines.

They may be at the opposite ends of the table but both these clubs remain among the most watchable in the division.

Encore.

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