No telly, no football. Some things don’t change even in modern Hong Kong
Photo: Amandsa Bryce

In Hong Kong, the world spins too fast to watch the World Cup – except at Ned Kellys!

by Paul McNeela, Hong Kong

Hong Kong is in many ways at the crossroads of the world.

As the fulcrum of East and West, Asia and Europe, Modernity and Tradition, Communism and Capitalism, Mao and Sun Yat-sen, the world pivots on its axis. But what does this unique bell-weather territory think of WC2018?

The ProstAustralia team this week had the opportunity of finding out as the Socceroos attempted an unlikely Houdini act in their final group game against Peru.

Peru – a word whose vulgar four letters represent a haunting legacy to this writer of Scottish origin. Peru – Who extinguished the hopes of the golden generation of Scottish players overhyped by manager Ally MacLeod and comedian Andy Cameron, in Argentina, some 40 years ago. Peru –  Who tonight denied redemption to your Scozzie correspondent, as they again humiliated his team, just as Teofilo Cubillas did in 1978, when pong, perms and Polanski were all the rage.

But snapping back to Hong Kong and out of my nightmare.

Revealing perspectives were gained from Hong Kong residents. Aaron, a waiter and hospitality student loves football and the World Cup but he doesn’t feel he can justify the sleep loss occasioned by 10pm and 2am kick offs. He has to work very long hours and, as an only child, must give his 55 year-old mother 50% of his salary.

Raymond, a successful optometry professional, watched the games tonight but had to leave before half time due to business meetings in the morning. Raymond has wagered extensively on this World Cup in the time-honoured Chinese tradition. A Scotophile since his studies at Strathclyde University with sympathies towards Glasgow Celtic but a devoted Manchester United man, he has named his son Alex in honour of that club’s recuperating colossus. 

Cameron, a successful educationalist from Scotland, is backing England to do it this time. He feels they have the perfect balance of youth and experience, playmaking and swift transition to achieve what they’ve failed to emulate since they last lifted the World Cup in 1066, despite losing an opening group match at Hastings against France.

The scene set, your intrepid reporters planned to take in the game at “Ned Kelly’s Last Stand” an Australian bar and one of Hong Kong’s oldest. So old in fact that it lacked that new fangled invention: the television.

Hong Kongers enjoying the World Cup
Photo: Amanda Bryce/Prost Amerika

This would have been viewed as an advantage in normal circumstances, but tonight necessitated a quick change of plan. “Such is life” as Ned Kelly said to his hangman.

Another location promised to show the Australia v Peru game but the protestations of Jean-Paul, one of the regulars, put paid to that. We beat a hasty retreat to our hotel only to be regrettably informed by reception staff that the hotel had not subscribed to the HK channels covering WC18.

Therefore we owe a huge shout out to Felix and Jeff, Hotel Icon reception staff, who hit the phones and incredibly found a bar five minutes away showing Australia v Peru and Denmark v France simultaneously.

Their efficiency, under considerable pressure from your correspondents, confounded superlatives, and afforded the ProstAustralia team the perfect location to view the unfolding demise of the feckless Socceroos. We proceeded to the Cafe de Fontaine and arrived eight minutes before kick off.

Peru quickly took command of this fixture despite already being eliminated. 25,000 devoted fans who’d trekked to Russia proved motivation enough for the Peruvian players to give them something to shout about, as they proceeded to clinically dismantle the Australian team and their forlorn hopes of reaching the last 16. The Socceroos’ lack of precision, incision and decision in the last quarter of the field rendered their task impossible while the French and the Danes contrived a symbiotic draw ensuring they both progressed to the last 16.

The Peruvians put their rare chances away and their fans’ delight was so beautiful to behold it served as a poultice to an ancient Scottish injury. The Socceroos must find a solution to their failure to score in open play in these finals. They scraped past a play off against Honduras to qualify but will be lucky to get through the Asian qualifiers with a similar opportunity next time unless sweeping changes are made.

Cafe de Fontaine in Hong Kong
Photo: Amanda Bryce / Prost Amerika

We sat with tourists and privileged locals “enjoying” the Socceroos inevitable nemesis tonight. We reflected on the gaping inequalities in this society where the “haves” sustain the high end retail sector and possess the time to indulge their leisure pursuits. Meanwhile the “have nots” have neither the time nor the resources to enjoy the ultimate spectacle of the game they love, if it’s located only a few time zones away.