Timbers fans to add Scots word “bawbag” to soccer chant


Timbers’ capo Sunday White describes how the idea for chanting ‘bawbag’ came about

Fans of MLS side Portland Timbers are set to support their team in an even more international way. The club whose fans already wave banners saying “Refugees Welcome” in defiance of current American policy, already sing multiple chants in Spanish to make the Pacific North West’s large Hispanic population feel welcome.

Always looking to expand their international outreach, fans at the Oregon club are considering adding words from an entirely new language to their lexicon – Scottish.

The idea is seemingly inspired by President Donald Trump.

On arrival in Scotland on June 24, he memorably tweeted about seeing Scottish people dancing in celebration after Britain’s Brexit vote.

Unfortunately for the normally well researched President, Scotland voted decisively to remain in the EU and those images were largely in his imagination, not unlike the thousands of inhabitants of New Jersey cheering on 9/11.

There are clearly a lot of imaginary celebrations in Donald Trump’s head, except maybe about healthcare, where oddly many people are actually celebrating.

President Trump is very popular in Scotland

Trump’s ignorance about Scottish festivities sparked a smorgasbord of insults from the locals, all aimed at the toupeed twat, and mostly posted online by Scots themselves.

The hashtag #Presidentbawbag trended worldwide.

Prior to that, most Americans only knew Scotland as the land of kilts, incredibly handsome men, good food, sexy accents, marvelous soccer websites, made-up monsters and fish suppers.

Now they were finding out that there was more to Scotland than Craig Ferguson and the Krankies. There was also the art of the insult.

Sunday White is one of the elite group who leads the chanting at Portland games, a group known as Capos, taken from the Italian word capo d’astro which translated literally from the Calabrian means the loudest hedgehog on the chess team.

Her side entered MLS with a Scottish head coach, John Spencer, and the side has become known for its Scottish players like Kris Boyd, Stephen Smith, Liam Ridgewell and Fanendo MacAdi.

Speaking before Portland Thorns 1-0 win over World Cup favorites Chicago, White explained that the ability of the Scots to turn abuse into an art form had come to her attention before Trump’s spectacular idiocy:

White made it clear she does not speak for Portland Timbers FC whose owner Merritt Paulson is widely known to frown upon ungodly language. He was once overheard saying “that was never a forlorn penalty” but that’s about his limit.

He definitely did not use any word beginning with ‘F’ after his side ended Real Salt Lake’s unbeaten streak in April 2011 and there are journalists who will confirm that, as they were definitely not in earshot when they heard him not say it. Just outside the home locker room about twenty minutes after the final whistle.

But Paulson’s Little House on the Prairie public image may not be enough to deter the fans from adding bawbag to their discourse.

It is unknown how the Timbers Front Office will react to chants containing the term “ginger wanksplatt”
Photos: Diego Diaz


Portland Timbers fans invented most things that happen in North American soccer culture so it is not surprising to find out that other clubs are watching and following suit, with Toronto fans considering experimenting with French, although many outside Toronto will ask ‘what it is that they are singing’.

Most crazily, there are rumors that Montreal Impact fans may start chanting in English so Patrice Bernier doesn’t have to translate everything to the players during the game. We asked the Impact themselves for comment but like every other media inquiry sent in English for the last three years, it went completely unanswered.

Elsewhere in the East, a spokesman for Chicago Fire’s Section 9 responded to an inquiry about learning a chant in German.

“Hardly worth it. It’s a tough language and it’s not likely he’ll be here long enough.”
Meanwhile it is Portland leading the way in making the sport that America invented more global.

When the word “bawbag” appears in its first chant, Prost Amerika will bring it to you here, and the Scots’ claim that they invented everything good ever to happen in America will once more be proven true.

They really are an irritating bunch. Ask Teresa May.

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